Hello, Dear Diary!
Today (or if to be honest yesterday) was that kind of day, when all things are so blurry and fast. Such days leave you without any expression or emotional trail. Some weird days they are. And still, even if they seem so bleak, you have this feeling on the back side of your throat. And you don't gulp, cause you're too afraid to do so.
No matter that these days are colorless. I always cry in such days. Guess, it's pretty stupid of me. I just find the reason and go weeping, all wrapped up in my blanket. So I lie in a corner, face in pillow, under the blanket and silently cry. Why? I don't know.
There is time when I cry with a good reason. But it's different. This time I actually whine and wail. I am as loud as I can be. I am crying and talking, sometimes swearing. But this days I am silent like a mouse. I become invisible blending into those blurry days. Pretty weird, ha? When I think I cried enough, I am diving into my music. And I am dancing and singing. And I am pretending to be as happy as I can be. And, the wonders, I fool myself till the end of this f**king day, and I am believing I am not worthless, I am believing in love and endless friendship.
The next day I don't think about this anymore. Next day I am truly happy.
There is one thing I don't understand. Why this days are meaning more to me than others?
Под настроение.