21:43

Хочу жить вечно. Пока получается.


Здравствуй, дорогой дневник! Сегодня на русском, ибо буду филосовствовать. А философствовать я люблю на родном.
Итак! Господи, как же смешно смотреть на своих одногодок. И нет, я говорю не про серую толпу, а про своих знакомых. Ох и редко же это бывает. Люди очень странные существа. Не перестаю удивляться. К чужим проблемам они бодры и всегда знают, как лучше поступить. Но как только ТА же самая проблема касается их, так она сразу становится дофига невыполнимой. Почему? Это, наверное, одна из еще неразгаданных тайн человеческого мозга, которую я ласкыво называю ЭГОИЗМ. Люди такие эгоцентричные. Но нет, не подумайте, что я их осуждаю. Я ведь такая же как и все, такая же эгоцентричная. Я такая же во всем. И я принимаю свою человеческую суть, как и многие-многие-многие. Ибо я одна из миллиардов людишек, бегающих по этой планете.
Ты, Дневник, наверное не понимаешь к чему я веду, но я уже почти добралась до сути того, на что хочу тебе пожаловаться. Какие же все вокруг взрослые, на кого ни посмотри. Все важные-важные, как гуси и гусыни, коими они честно-забавно и видятся в моей голове. Стоит мне прочесть статус кого-то вконтакте или пост на дайри, или бложек на беоне, или запись на фейсбуке. Я молчу про твиттер, который прямо-таки у некоторых забит соплями и важностью. Сразу вижу такого гуся с головой знакомого. Печально, что же поделаешь? Печально и чертовски смешно. Попробуйте представить себе знакомое лицо с телом гуся, не пожалеете! Так вот, все такие до кучи важные. Все все знают про любовь и взрослую самостоятельную жизнь, и вообще они живут так духовно и культурно, обогощают свой внутренний мир, знают все о моде и труде, и ДО КУЧИ ВЗРОСЛЫЕ.
А я - сопляк! Я не имею ни малейшего понятия о труде, любви. Я глупая и донельзя некультурная. Я прочитала последнюю книгу уже месяц как назад, и мне очень стыдно. Я не умею расходовать свои деньги и вечно сьедаю всю еду за один день, клянчу у мамы, и вообще живу за ее счет. Я не контролирую свои эмоции и не умею вести себя в социуме. Я не имею устоявшихся моральных принципов. Я еще такой ребенок. Конечно, и на меня не раз накатывали пафосные и грустные мысли о том, что мол все, детство закончилось. Но, блин, я еще очень глупая и зеленая, как елка. Смешно слышать от людей, видивших меньше тебя пафосные фразы. Я бы распространилась, но это не имеет смысла.
А так просто, нажаловалась дневнику. Ибо, такой ребенок, все растрындеть, все растрындеть. Надеюсь, никого мой всплеск не задел и не обидел.

14:26

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Какая-то фигня под шлаком - 30 интересных фактов о себе.
А почему бы, собственно, и нет?
Когда-то что-то такое писала на Беоне, мне кажется :D


1) Я люблю Nestea с персиком
2) Картунистка
3) Не умею петь, но пою
4) Сразу после сна и перед сном я читаю фанфики
5) Жевательный мармелад форева
6) Я Достоевский
7) По ночам обнимаюсь с подушкой и обязательно просыпаюсь, если она упала на пол
8) Ленивая до беспределия
9) Обожаю рыжиков
10) Я почти не смотрю телевизор
11) Я почти не включаю компьютер
12) Всегда все теряю, паникую и нахожу в элементарных местах после часового поиска
13) Плохо переношу боль
14) Живу в своей голове
15) Безумная меломанка
16) Редко одеваю вещи, которые мне по-настоящему нравятся
17) Имею совершенно смешаное понятие о религии
18) Самая терпимая к чужим и нетерпимая к близким
19) Хочу уметь рисовать
20) В своей компании абсолютно теряю рассудок
21) Не умею танцевать
22) Готовлю из чувства долга или для кого-то
23) Не очень экономная
24) Обожаю писать конспекты по учебе
25) Обидчивая
26) Люблю жить в хаосе
27) Обожаю спать на животе или калачиком
28) Лет в 50-60 обязательно перейду на вегетерианство
29) Хочу троих детей
30) Сама пипец еще ребенок

13:56

Хочу жить вечно. Пока получается.


Hello, Dear Diary!
My practise is over (still can't believe it), so now I have more time for myself.
On July the 29th we celebrated Jenya's birthday. All was cool. I ate a bit too much sushi. Now I am awaiting for my parents to go to Bryansk, so I'll have a chance to have a sleepover with my friends. Anya is going to come from Moscow, maybee not alone :D
I started going to the fitness-club. Though I can't visit the pool now due to my finger on left hand, I am using some machines? Don't know the word. I loved doing exercises with them. It is quet productive. My goal for now is to loose 300-600 calories on training every day. Don't know if I can do this, but will try. Or Angy will transport my bed to some other room.
Well, other then that don't have too much to say about. Still, summer is beautifull!
Have a nice day!
Bye!

17:23

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Hello, Dear Diary!
I am sorry for lack of posts in last month. It is just that I am very busy, you know. Started going to my practise in The Red Cross. It is very interesting and VERY hard. There is one week of it left. And I am as happy, as I can be due to my health condition, which is very poor by the way.
Well, about last days. I've succesfully graduated my 4th semester. KK came to me (Vladimir, I mean). We had very busy and museumy-churchy-cathedraly weekend. Hope, she liked my hometown. I met some new people at practise and learned, that I am quite unskillfull, or better to say skillles in doing something medical with my hands. For now, I've learnd to do injections (intramuscularis, subcutaneous), use catetters, bandage wounds and even remove sutures. I am very proud of myself.
Had some time with Elis and Zhenya. Though, not so much.
About the future. Am going to go to Moscow on next week. Don't know if I will, but planning. And of course HANG OUT SO HARD, THAT IT'D BE SHAMEFULL TO REMEMBER. Hell YEAAAH.
Well, for now it is all.
See ya! :)


А почему бы собственно и не поделиться настроением?

11:38

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Hello, Dear Diary!
Ij next two hours I will have an Anatomy exam. Digestive system. I don't quiet know why I write this post instead of studying. But I surely an.
Sooooo nervous.
Sorry for this outcome, thanks for listening! I even got sick, because of all worrying. So, wish me good luck!
Bye!)

14:58

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Hello, dear diary!
I am in process of studying. I wake up every day at 5-6 am. Angie is waking up earlier most of the mornings. Well, today I had my Biology and Physiology checks. My test on Highest Neural Activity (I looked up for this word today) was amazing. I am surprised to be so lucky. People were getting Fs, Es and Ds. And I managed to get a B. It looks like I only had nice kind questions, while the others. I wish them all a good amount of luck. P. S. the guy from my group even called me a cheater for making one mistake. I am still in shock.
Last two days were pretty nice too. I managed to pass my economic test with 98%. Still don't know how. We had only check without gradation, so I am satisfied. And I've got Anatomy check! Yey! I still have to pass two exams though. One for bones and muscles and the other for digestive system.
Though I don't have a lot to do, I am really tired. Maybe it is lack of sleep. Or because I am getting nervous really easy.
Well, talking only about studying. I know, I am boring. But it is a real high priority to me. So deal with my whining. For now it is all. I'll write you later more. Thanks for listening.
See ya!

20:00

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0

19:59

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Hello, Dear Diary!
Sorry for being quiet for so long. But now I have a lot of news to tell about.
The studying is going at full width and length. Though it is not even a check-session, which by the way we will have from 3rd to 9th June, but we already are passing a lot of tests. The last week was very hard. I passed The caring (surgery part), biochemistry, physiology, history, physics (with not so wonderfull results, I must say). Tomorrow I will know about anatomy. On Tuesday I have an Economic test. On wednesday I will know my biology results and have to pass test on Higher Neural Doing. Lol. I should tie up my lexicon on summer break. Well, thursday is going be the day-off. And on Friday I need to pass PE. So, as you can see I'll have quite a lot to do. Hope I will manage it in right time.
Well, something about not studying. I watched the Suicide Shop and Paranorman. Both were extremely good. The Suicide Shop was very original piece of animation. The style is very interesting and the odea itself is brilliant. But I didn't like songs at all. Paranorman was the most thrilling animovie, I have ever seen. The idea was very close to many. But creators succesfully opened it. They didn't even have to stretch the storyline. I think Paranorman will go to my BEST-list.
Yesterday I met with my brother and guess what I've got? My book. It is Kindle 5. So small, so light, so pretty. I am soooo happy. That book should have been my present for March 8th. Yesterday was May 25th. You can't even imagine how long it is. I thought I'll never get it. I need an Inthernet now, cause I need to get a converter for books. There was a CD with Russian Classic. But I want to download Dickens, Marshall, Murakami, Moathm. Soooo many books I have to read. Today I finally read a Usual Story by Goncharov. It was very depressing, but well-written. I was so worried about the main hero. And I don't really like, that he ended like this. Still it was great.
I think I wrote to much boring information. But life it is. Sometimes it is Lazy Slow time. Session will ruin this mood very soon. Thank you for listening.
Bye-bye!

15:34

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Hello, dear diary!
I'm bored out of my mind. The history period. Though we have a really good lector, I hate the time period we're discussing. I had drawed, had played games, had read fanfiction and STILL! This one is not going to end soon. So, I decided to use this time for something productive.
I am in campus. The weather is WONDERFUL! So warm.. I think I'm melting (in a good way). Studying is getting really hard. Cause I'm relaxed. Take iiit eeeaaaaaaaasyyyyy! Tomorrow will be a looong day. I'll have two periods of biology, physiology, anatomy. And I have to clean up the lection room I am in charge of. The session is coming!!! Hide! HIDE!!! SAVE THE CHILDREN! Lol. Hope I'll pass it without major troubles.
Well, going off! See ya next time.

00:10

09.05.2013

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09.05.2013


Hello, Dear Diary!
Well, firstly..
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH! *screaming in her pillow*
Okay, now.. I just can't stand the way you are acting! Like an immature baby. Don't you think it doesn't suit you? Of course not. You are so full of yourself, you just can't think clearly. I am very ashamed, cause stupid me have to worry about you. So just a few wordsspining in my head right now: "Not F**KING funny". Hope you'll listen to me.
Well, about my nowdoing. I think I made this word myself. Don't know if it actually exists.I am pretty nice. Kinda bored, cause I have to study. But in other ways pretty nice. The weather is such a joy. I hope it will last for some more days. The sun's light is so warm. I think that I actually was sunbathing in it's glory. Still in my clothes, though.
Today I had a meeting with my family. We were talking about such interesting things! Massons, aliens, psychology, dinosaures. Lol. I have a really strange family. And now I finnaly got to know the sociotype of my aunt! He-he-he. Angy was actually right. That is a point for her. Now I am sitting and watching some random movie on Disney channel. There was a commercial about Kind Juice :D So i will stop here and get some Nestea for me!
See ya!

07:56

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Hello, dear diary!
Oh, everything is wonderful! Things FINALLY have started going my way! I am very cheerful, indeed. Do you know why? Of course! I AM GOING HOME TOMORROW. You probably can't imagine how happy I am! 4 days! Then 3 sad days. And then 3 days more! And of course after that two studying weeks and.. DEADLY SESSION. Hope, I'll survive all this menace.
Well, about my "nowdoing". I made up with Angy. We didn't talk for 8 days! Could you imagine it? Studying is getting nowhere near it's end. But it allways is coming all of sudden. I am very marry, lol. Old English. Still in process of rereading Checkmate. The day before yesterday DoaS was updated. Oh, God! I really love Pearl. She says only two capters left till the Danny will become adult. Fuck yeah! I am so intrigued. And I really want to read the moment, when he will know about and meet his true parents. And Elliot and Gregor. Ow, the poor dragons (truying not to hate Gregor). Hope, Vlad will learn this is all Spectra's doing and KILLTHISFUCKINGWHORESLUTBITCHHOOKERHATEPUREHATE!!!! Nya ^^.
I will probably write tomorrow. For now it is all. See ya!

09:41

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Hello, dear diary!
Today I want to do some whining. You have to deal with it. Sorry. Well, I am talking about guys! Why are they like that? Why are they so blind? Why are they doing such stupid and painfull things? As if it is not enough, they are so lazy and passive. Maybe they are awaiting their princesses on white lexus? Well, guys, sorry to say this to you, but... NOT GONNA HAPPEN! As if it is soooo hard to just trying to communicate with ordinary girls. I am very ashamed. They want a woman that will be beautifull, inteligent, caring, kind. With a nice personality and cooking skills. And when.. Oh, God. Just forget it. Guys, who are not looking only at girl's tits. Respect to you. You are wonderfull, even as friends.
Well, duh. Sorry about talking too much on this theme. But one person just had to refresh this in my head. Ok, about my daily life. Me and Angy are still not talking from last thursday. It is the longest fight. We've ever had. It is not helping, that she is going home any minute she can. Well, who am I to judge? I am really cool. Finally started doing some things. I have pretty rough mood swings. Probably because of my standard reason. The weather is baaad. I want sun! A lot of sun!!! I decided that this summer should be occupied with something usefull, besides my medical practise. There are my goals:
1) lose some weight
2) study astronomy
3) study japanese
Well, among that I am also planning to watch more cartoons and some serials. And, of course, read-read-read!
And, oh! I am rereading Checkmate. THIS IS STILL AS AMAZING AS IT WAS BEFORE!!! If not better! Oh, I just love Pearl84' style. I love all her works! She is amazing! Check out her stories, you'll mot regret. Though she writes only in Danny Phantom fandom, still.
Well, that is all. See you next time. Thanks for listening!
Bye-bye!

12:01

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Hello, dear diary!
It's been awhile from my last post. It is not as I don't have time. It is as I don't have energy. I am spending a lot of time just enjoying the weather though last days were not so enjoyable!) I've gained a new friend. Her name is Masha and she is gonna be a lawyer. Let's hope I spelled the word right.
Today I went to Moscow for tickets to home. MISSION COMPLETE! It is a first day when they are selling the tickets. And I ran to railway station and bought it. THIS IS EXPRESSTICKETS! And they are always selling veryveryvryvr fast. LOL. I bought the second class seat and am very proud of myself. The May holidays are coming and I can already feel the cheering mood.
Well, for now it is all! Bye!)

18:03

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Hello, dear diary!
Thanks God, my spring fever of LOVE is gone. Don't love anyone at all! Yey!
Angy took a vacation and went home, so now I am staying at our room alone. I am not lonely, quite the opposite. I am pretty happy to have some time to myself. On monday there gonna be Myology-check-up. I don't know muscles at all. Shame on me. But, I have two and a half days to study. Let's pray for me not being the lazy ass and actually STUDYING this weekend. I also have to buy some groceries (hope I didn't spell it wrong), spend some time in bathroom, doing all the girly stuff, I can imagine and maybee do some chores. And for all I have only a small weekend. Owww.
Today I am gonna visit the dinner. Don't know what they will give is today, but hope it will be something delicious!
Well, going off! See ya!)

12:42

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Hello, dear diary!
Today I want to discuss.. Erm, don't know if my monologues could be viewed like a discussion :)
First. I've been thinking a lot about my future life in Moscow and what should I do. There are not so many possibilities, but few. In the end I decided to stay in campus. Though KK wants to see me at hers and I really want it too, it seems like no, just because. I had really hard time thinking about going to another room. But still don't know. Preferably, me and Angy will just make our room more suitable for us. Like getting Internet, buying fridge, changing interier. So, there.
Second. Where the fuck is spring?! I am soooo depressed because of bad weather. Want to see blue sky, the sun, green leaves, butterflies. And what I get? Stupid snow, stupid ice, stupid clouds. Arrrrgh, unbearable.
Third. Forever alone. What else to say? And the funny thing. I think I'm in love. Ha-ha. See, told ya? It is even more unbearable, then late spring. Maybe, love is a too big word. Still there is a person, with whom I would like to heh-heh. Of course I am not jumping on his neck with lovely-dovely fluffy things. Have been thinking about this a lot. I think I had a chance with the person. Though it've never been official. But you know me. I am coward, when things are getting just a bit hotter. And of course, now, I don't have any chances. But I will have to spend with the person some quality time. Still am going to smile and the person wouldn't suspect anything. He-he-he. And what about me? I am pretty happy to have this person around. Just messing around, talking and chatting. It should have been spring and my stupid hormones. Want some love, get it out of air. Saying a bit too much.)
Fourth. With all this lack of spring, and stupid love (or deep affection) in my head, can't study anything. Don't know how I am gonna to pass my exams in two months. I am so stupid. In three weeks there are May' Holidays. But almost three weeks. Don't know if I will survive them.

All that I wanted to say, I said.
Going off.

09:50

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Hello, dear diary!
I haven't posted for long. Was pretty busy.
Things are going strange. I am not in the mood for studying, but still am getting good grades. I am not in the mood for anything, actually. I presume it is because of spring. Accurately, because of winter weather on April 5th. I want some sun and green leaves.
I became so grumpy in last days. Like I am turning into dark Dostoevsky or worse - dark Esenin. Have to calm myself. Want some time alone.
I am not sick anymore. It is very good.

13:02

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Hello, dear diary!)
I have a free half of period, so decided to use it for something productive. Writing a post, for example.
Today I am going home. It is gonna be GREAT. Home, I mean, not the travelling process. Today I'll ride on the 3rd class. Aaaaaarrgghhh! Don't want to. Big puffy men will seat all around me. And they will wide their legs, so there is no room for mine. Egoistical bastards! Poor me.
Last days were quiet stressful for me and Angy. So we were arguing a lot. Good thing we made up. But it was pretty hard to have Cold War in one room. We couldn't even spend some time alone and chill out. And I really needed it. But everything is ok now. Katya is watching. And she doesn't understand it is НЕВЕЖЛИВО. Had to tell her about translation.
Well, going off.

11:30

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Hello, dear diary!
Some more whining! It is so frustrating when you are trying to draw something. And here is the moment. You are grabbing the inspiration, your muse is in your hands and ... BANG!!$&,(7!!! Just cause someone is bored.
And then: Why are you so mean to me?!!
DO I REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN???!!

Thx for listening.

09:27

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Здравствуй, дорогой дневник!
Сегодня будет немного скрытой философии и немного открытых соплей. Поэтому на русском.
О, это ужасное осознание, что мир не крутится вокруг меня, в то время как МОЙ мир таки вертится. Даже не знаю, было ли это гуманным, наделять каждого человека сознанием. Вселенная - очень странная штука. Моя вселенная пытается не давать мне задумываться о вечном, хорошо верно. Может, это голос моей интроверсии? Ты в своем мире, ты в своем мире)))) Я вот огорчаюсь от понимания, что у каждого своя вселенная. И не все меня пускают к себе. Хотя кого успела впустить я? Будем откровенны ни-ко-го. Вот только приоткрыл дверцу, как либо люди сами уходят, либо обстоятельства растаскивают, либо я разочаровываюсь. Вывод: слишком медленно открываю. Или вывод: всем толком плевать на высокие отношения и чувства. А где-то там существует моя половинка. Дождусь ли? Дождется ли он? Вселенная - забавная штука. Вертится вокруг меня, но это вряд ли сможет осознать кто-то другой. А что мы имеем на пока? Пока мы имеем заплеванную душу, но не разбитое целое сердце. Целехонькое и ожидающее. Где ты, существо моей мечты? Будет печально умереть одной в квартире полной котиков.
Ok, let's go to the real part of my life. I am ill again. My throat is aching and I am talking with a funny voice. Yesterday I went to my PE-period sooo.. Don't go if you fell like you are going to be sick. Well, about something positive, only my arms are kinda numb. But legs and press are really in good shape. We were studying the anatomy of abdominal muscles, and I really have КУБИКИ! Don't know the english word!))
Now, I am going to Moscow, though don't want to. But I have to.
See ya!)))

21:55

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Hello, dear diary!
Long time no see! He-he.. Sorry about that.
So, what news? Nothing much. Been here, done that. I have been home, seen Alice. Miss my mom too much. I would like to visit her next weekend. Been at KK's. She has a rynit. Poor thing. Angy is sick too. She doesn't even go to lections. I am trying to babysit her, but it is very hard, when she is 6 years older ^^". And she doesn't really like it when I am carrying for her. Still she likes to think about me, as her daughter. Aaarrggh! I don't really like it too.
Well, the studying is flowing smoothly. I started to keep The Big Post. I am eating the milk production, though. Cause my breakfasts are primary consisting of cheese or jogurts, or milk. But I stopped eating the mayonese and chocolate. KK bugged me about doing some sport activities and I had no choice. Started doing them too. Now I have to became less puffy XD
Sneezed and oke up Angy! Brilliant me!
Have to go off) Have a really busy day tomorrow. Thanks for listening.

Bye-bye!