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Здравствуй, Дорогой Дневник!
Прости, что долго не писала, да и сейчас не особо щедра на слова.
Пишу почти по традиции в последний мой день пребывания дома перед отъездом в Москву. Впереди экзаменационная сессия, и да поможет нам Господь!
Праздники прошли хорошо. Впереди работа и сложности, но мы со всем справимся! Из такого уж теста мы сделаны.
Обещаю пытаться писать чаще!)


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Знаешь, Дневник.
Я тут подумала. Может, все мои беды от того, что я слишком хорошо живу. То есть как бэ у меня есть почти все, чего я когда-либо хотела. У меня есть свой угол, достаточное количество денег, возможность учиться, хорошие гаджеты, всякие разные шняжки для хобби, отличная семья, друзья. Есть конечно и свои подводные камни, но как-то мне они в последнее время не досаждают.
Вот когда у человека есть все, что он хочет. Когда все есть в достатке СНАРУЖИ. Не бывает ли от этого довольно пусто ВНУТРИ. Вот о чем я думаю. Так. Мимоходом.


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Hello, Dear Diary!
Found someone to look up to!
All is.. Well.. Tolerable.
Need to change my attitude.
To a more positive way.


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Dreams. Pain. Tears. Death. Heroes. Irritation. Shit. Loneliness.
What am I doing wrong? What should I do to change myself?

Just thinking aloud.


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Hello, dear Diary!
Sorry for writing without an epigraph. I am still not used to the new member of my electronic family. Hope soon I'll learn how to use it properly.
Writing in English, cause writing in Russian is kinda hard, you know? The "." and the "," are not at their places. So I am kinda sad. Buuut. I'll get used to it, I'm sure. Well, about my nowdoing. The cycle of Operative Surgery and Topographic Anatomy ended. Thanks God! Soon Gynekology will start. Don't know if I wanna go to it or not. This week my Academy made fun of me. Firstly there was a beautiful day. The monday. Such a perfect day you can only dream off. Then there was the evening of monday. Such a cruel stupid evening you can only imagine. So they said we need to get medical books. Really. Now? I went home. Then Wednesday I went to Moscow, cause Thursday we had a practice check-up. And they said - no, let's have it another day. And I was like Auuurrghh! Riding really made me sick. And also I got sick. A flue, I think.
Well, kinda don't know what more to say.
See you next time.


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The hypocrisy. I think this is the most awful quality in people for me. The hypocrisy. The insincerety.
I don't ask for a lot. I just think you shouldn't tell people how to plant trees if you don't have your own garden.


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Hello, Dear Diary!
Sorry for being silent for oo long. There are so many news, I will post them part by part. Well, the first thing is my session.
Exam N 1 - Pathology. I had A's on all my mid-tests, had done a presentation on the rabbies, personally answered to our head-teacher and wrote a science-work. The theme of my work was "Asthma and Non Steroidal Anti Inflammatory Drugs. Role of Cytokines". I know all this termins in English now because, my work was based primarly on English articles. Well, writing your fully own work is pretty hard. But the teacher said it was good and that I am suitable to be a science-worker. I was really happy.
Well, exam N 2 - Therapy. I. GOT. AN. A! Can you imagine?! It was a funny story. We (my group on therapy) frightened all that our teacher is very strict. We thought, that our teacher couldn't take our exam. We were SO WRONG. First our manual skills. I answered them to my teacher. He didn't even look at my questions and started to ask his own. I passed with A! So happy. And then the part with medical problem. I didn't even had time to ready myself. Guess to whom I was answering! To HIM! And I passed again. He looked at me and gave me a final A! SO BRUCE~
Exam N 3 - General Surgery. It was very fast. And funny. Cause I was feeling very stupid.
Exam N 4 - Pharmacology. I had questions from HELL! Really, all the questions were so unlucky. Passed, still.
And FINALLY, exam N 5 - Microbiology. I had a B automatically. But wanted an A. My teacher was really pressing on me to go home, but I didn't agree. Well, right! Went home with an A.
That's all for now!


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Ohohoho! Guess who is here. It's me.
I am terribly sorry for not writing for SO LONG. But I'll write some now. Cause I can :D
Soooo. Last post was made in april. That means you don't know that I closed my summer session with flying colors. And had a very long practise month. I was in Cardiology and Surgery mostly. It was horrible, cause I hadn't relaxed at all this summer. And then happened the BOOM with going to RUDN. So, my university, precisely medical part, was closed. Could you believe in such nightmare? I thought I was going to die. I was ill a lot. Had some emotional breakdowns. And then Angy went home. So I now live on the 4th floor with Anya. And I wasted a lot of time and nerves. I just really hope, next year gonna be easier on me. Cause I am very tired and somehow not happy.
That's all for now.
Hope I will manage to write more.


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Захотелось флешмобика.
Все под катом.



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Hello, Dear Diary!
No epigraph, cause new design! Yay! I am really lazy to do something epic. So here we are with a space-theme. Truthfully I just wanted to paste somewhere the quote from the song in epigraph. Cause so true. So here it is.
Lazy to write more. I am pretty Ok, if you're interesed. Not too much Ok. Just normal kinda Ok.)
Still have two more exams and summer practise.
That's all for now.
I'll try to tell you more in a few days.


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Hello, Dear Diary!
Finally the check-up session is closed.I still don't understand how I've managed it. All is kinda blurry, but STILL! Well, for now I have 5 exams. Hope, I'll pass them with nice grades, though it is very hard. All of my exams are kinda massive. On all five I have a massive book full of medical knowledge. And although I studied through the year I kinda don't remember anything. So next month is going to be full of work, but I'll write to you more now. Today was my last relaxation day. Tomorrow I am gonna study therapy, as if my life depends on it. Cause literally, maybe not mine, but some lifes really will depend on it. So I should understand and memorise everything as much as I can. I don't think I'll pass my exam with an A. Cause I already have two B's for test and the Story of illness. Am really nervous because of patology. My teacher still haven't said a word about my work. And it creeps me out. Hope tomorrow I'll know.
Well, what more? I visited KK last weekend. We went to the Park and had some pretty wild rides. Screamed a lot. Also I went home just to visit the hospital. Was officially dyagnosed with nervous tick. Ha! Told you my studying is making me crazy. It is lasting for two weeks now and doesn't seem to come to an end. The doctor said I should drink nootropes. I'll strting from tomorrow. Hope it'll help me to concentrate on my studies.
Well, all for now. See ya!


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Hello, Dear Diary!
Finally some adequate post about my nowdoing. Well, it's not like past month was so very interesting. Studying, studying, studying some more. There were holidays, on which I happily didn't do anything. On May the 1st I went home. Sleeped, ate, hung out with my parents and friends. Visited Ksusha's grave, by the way. On May the 9th I visited a lot of places. Firstly I hung out with Anton. We went to look at fireworks. Chatted a lot. Though to me it seemed, like I chatted a lot. I rode through night Moscow with cool music. It was awesome. Got to KK on May the 10th at 2 a.m. Lol. Next day me and my aunt visited Pushkin's museum one more time and went to the thathre. We watched Otello. I am somehow sad, it wasn't a traditional perfomance. Nevertheless it still was fantastic. Maybe too symbolic.
After such joyfull weekends I was studying like a mad dog. I am still in a process. Catched some cold from my pacient. But now am feeling so much better. The only thing troubling me is stomatite. Cause it's growing. I already have 3 or 4. And I need to see a dantist. But for now I don't have time for it. So, I hope to close my session as quickly, as possible to come home and go to him. The session itself is deadly. But today my spirit is uncharacteristically high. I am so tired from all of this, I ain't even whining. Can you imagine?))
But I am still angry at some people! They are just so strange. And mean. But it's nothung. Cause like my epigraph is saying - I'll come out and have my revenge someday! Nye-he-he!
Celebrated KK's B-Day yesterday.
Well, what more? All is OK. There is a nice song!

Прослушать или скачать Imagine Dragons Destination бесплатно на Простоплеер


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Hello, Dear Diary!
Some fasto-post without an epigraph, cause I've got some more things to do.
Yesterday and day before that I was on my night duty. Saw two more operations. And got to take KK's blood again. Yay. I managed to do it second time! Yay-yay-yay! Soo, all went well, even if my mom wished us luck, cause it is a bad sign to wish luck.
Don't really have much to tell you. Studies are going alright, I closed my Pharmacology tails. Still have one - the damned operative surgery. Don't know where, when or how I am gonna close it. Will try to do my best.
Well, going off, cause I really need to study my patilogy check-up.
See ya!


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Hello, Dear Diary!
Sorry for writing to you through the ass, as we russians say :D
This time I have a reason. The reason is called The Operative Surgery and Topographic Anatomy. I decided not to pay for the internet, so I can focus on my studies. Can't say it's helping. Actually the cycle system isn't so great, as I thought it would be. Studying such big amounts of informations every day is kinda overwhelming. In other words I am so tired. Still trying to learn as much as I can. Well, now you know, I am alive. See you nextt time.


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Здравствуй, Дорогой Дневник! Сегодня на русском, ибо пост ни о чем, ака философия моей жизни. Где я опять буду, распинаясь вовсю, выкладывать тебе свои корявенькие мыслишки и умозаключения.
Ну так, в общем. О чем я сегодня. Много думала о соотношении-таки нытья и удачи в этой жизни. То есть, как бэ есть удача. К каждому она повернута разной стороной, многосторонняя такая переменная нашей жизни.) Кому-то везет, кому-то нет. И уж, удача, сволось этакая, вещь абсолютно нелогичная, не поддающаяся объяснению, да и вообще. Преподавательница по ивриту сказала нам на прошлом занятии: "Нууу.. Козероги? Что тут сказать? Этим людям ничего не дается в руки просто так. За все им надо работать". Я еще подумала, да нууу.. Я удачлива в меру адекватной удачливости. А потом поговорила с другими людьми иии.. нет) Похоже я действительно лузер, ибо на каждый мой аргумент находится контраргумент, как только я расслабляюсь, так со скоростью света сползаю с покоренной отметки, да и вообще вечно приходится кому-то что-то доказывать и все бороться-ругаться-защищаться. А жаловаться-то, в принципе, и не на что...) Нельзя рассказать о трудном детстве, о недостатке любви или поддержки, особо-тяжелом материальном положении. Все вроде путем. Среднестатистический человек добивается среднестатистической цели, стартанув со среднестатистической отметки, и движется с вполне среднестатистической скоростью. Уныло и неоригинально. Хотя на самом деле, мне кажется, что я оригинальна. Но это заблуждение.
Ныть, как видишь, не на что. Поэтому оно выливается по всяким мелочам, зато в большем количестве. И вот тут-то и подвох. Чем больше ноешь, тем меньше удачи. Ты, как частичка огромной Вселенной, начинаешь притягивать к себе все свои поплакушки-понытушки. И Вселенная с радостью тебе их вручает. Все твои столь часто притягиваемые горькие последствия. А удача совсем другая переменная, которая плевать хотела на космические законы. Она либо сегодня есть, либо завтра ее нет. И как ты не перекручивай, а выходит, что хлипкой удачей своих проблем не решить. Оптимизм же, с другой стороны. Можно оставаться неудачником и не ныть. И тогда жизнь покажетс тебе медовой плюшкой. Ибо удача тебя уже не волнует. Только положительная энергия, ссылаемая тебе космосом и проявляющаяся в вечной бодрости и позитиве. Лучше уж быть счастливым неудачником, чем удачливым нытиком. Какое-ж тогда счастье. Буду счастливым неудочником, и космос ниспошлет мне что-ниудь радостное.
The End.


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Hello, Dear Diary!
Today was quite a strange day. You know, ordinary routine day. And still, my mood is flying high. I hope the wave I am on, will not go down, cause it seems like I finally catched my rhythme. You know I found strength to stand up and smile. My inner world is litted up with sunshine and cheering birds. Really want this feeling to last longer. I really need a wake-up call. To do all the things I need to do. And there is a lot things I need to do. The studying, making scarf, communicating with people. Really need to climb out of this despair-depression-hopelessness-whatever-it-is! I am much stronger than many think. There is always hope! The sun is gonna keep on shining, rising ther beneath horizon! My love for life will keep on wising! Everything is gonna be alright! Everything that downs me makes me wanna fly!
The 10th Dannyversary was yesterday. I bought beer and rewatched the first episode. Oh. That was sooo nice. Today Angy is on night duty, so I have some time for myself. Listening to music and sleeping. And tomorrow is gonna be a busy day. Very busy.
And today is song's quote day! Yay!
Theres so many wars we fought
Theres so many things we're not
But with what we have
I promise you that
We're marchin on
We're marchin on
For all of the plans we made
There isn't a flag I'd wave
Don't care where we've been
I'd sink us to swim
We're marchin on
We're marchin on
We'll have the days we break
And we'll have the scars to prove it
We'll have the bomb that we saved
And we'll have the heart
Not to lose it

When the sun sets...